WHAT IS A PRE-PAID FUNERAL PLAN?
A pre-paid funeral plan is a financial plan that you pay into where you are saving up for your funeral. It allows you to pay for your funeral in advance while ensuring you wishes are outlined as well as freezing the cost at todays prices and you know exactly what you’re paying for….or do you?

Before committing to any plan check the following:

1. How much you will pay per month (if paying in instalments)
2. How much interest you will pay (if paying in instalments)
3. How much you will pay in total
4. How much the company will take in admin fees/commission or cancellation charge
5. How much of your money will go towards your funeral both at the end of the payment plan or during the pay in period (usually 2 years) and how much if you die before that time comes
6. Can you choose your own an Independent Funeral Director or are you tied to a Funeral Director that the company dictates.
7. How is your money protected should the plan provider or chosen funeral director go out of business
And finally….
8. Is it actually a pre-paid funeral plan or an over 50’s insurance policy

By taking out a pre-paid funeral plan you will get a funeral but will it be the one that you want and think your getting? The last thing anyone wants is to believe their funeral is sorted only for their family to be handed a bill to cover any excess cost due to hidden charges. When you receive the paperwork look over all the details and if in doubt check with company or Funeral Director who sold you the plan.

As an Independent Funeral Director we only sell pre-paid plans from a trusted company who deal with them on a daily basis. We guarantee to arrange the funeral you want, that is within your budget and requirements, leaving you with the reassurance that your loved ones will not be left with a huge bill when the time comes.

We understand that it can be hard to think about your funeral and the last thing we want is for you to feel pushed into choices you’re not happy with. You may may not know where to start planning or how to raise the subject with your family, so why not get in touch? We will happily answer any questions you have without any obligation to buy a plan.

The post Pre-paid funeral plans – All you need to know appeared first on ADAMS & DUNCAN Funeral Directors.

Denial

The first stage of grief is denial – a defence mechanism which cushions the initial shock of losing a loved one. During this stage we deny the reality of the situation.  Kubler-Ross explains that denial allows the grieving person to pace their feelings and come to their senses.  Denial and shock help people cope with the loss. The denial stage doesn’t last for long and over time we will recover from the initial shock. To cope with this stage, it’s important to remember that denying the reality of the situation is normal.

Anger

The second stage of grief is anger, which may take many forms. Feelings of irritation, jealously and resentment may arise. The grieving person might be angry at anyone – the person who has passed away, their family, friends or even themselves. During this stage one may isolate themselves from the people they love and push others away. To cope with this stage, it’s important to allow yourself to feel the anger. The more you do this, the more the anger will fade and the more you will recover.

Bargaining

After anger comes bargaining – an attempt to bring a loved one back, knowing this is physically not possible. The person grieving may find themselves stuck in the past, wanting life to be how it once was and begging to get back what they have lost. Thoughts of ‘if only’ and ‘what if’ will crowd the mind. Feelings of guilt can accompany this stage. One may wish that they had done something differently or wish they could go back in time to change something. Bargaining can act as an escape from the reality, pain and suffering they are feeling.

Depression

Feelings of emptiness and grief become more intense once the bargaining stage has passed. The stage of depression feels as though it might last forever. A grieving person may not want to leave their house or even their bed. During this stage it’s important to remember that this type of depression doesn’t signify mental illness. Depression after losing a loved one is normal – it’s understandably a depression situation. This type of depression won’t be hanging over you for the rest of your life. You must remember to take care of yourself during this time.

Acceptance

The fifth and final stage of grief is acceptance. This is not being ‘OK’ with what has happened, but rather accepting the reality of the situation – our loved one is physically gone forever. For some, it may take years to reach this stage and it might take something momentous for this to happen. No one will ever like the reality. Once this stage has been reached, progress in living and enjoying life can be made. One may feel as though they are betraying their loved one who has passed away by moving on.  This is not the case, as nothing can replace what has been lost.

Some people grieving may go through all of these stages while others may only go through some, or experience the stages in a different order. While going through each of stage, overall, the most important thing to remember is that it’s normal. All of the feelings you experience are normal. If you need help coping with these feelings, do not hesitate to talk to someone.

The post The Five Stages of Grief appeared first on ADAMS & DUNCAN Funeral Directors.

Koh Samui, Thailand 20100715. Båttur til naturreservat. Palmer, strand, vakkert vann.
Foto: Berit Keilen / NTB scanpix

We often see in the media shocking stories of families who are dealing with the sudden death of a loved one that’s happened abroad. It all seems like such a complicated and challenging process. However, the process of dealing with death abroad really depends on certain circumstances.  We’ve put together this standard guide of the most important steps to follow in case a loved one dies abroad.

Who to contact first

Aside from contacting family, the most important communication is to the foreign country’s nearest British Embassy, High Commission or Consulate. These places can offer you help with what to do next and support when a loved one dies abroad.

If the death has been reported to the British Consulate, they will ask your local Police Force to contact you, if you are the deceased’s Nearest Surviving Relative or Next of Kin.

If you’re on a package holiday it’s also important to inform your holiday rep. They will also be able to arrange further help.

You can find a full list of British embassies here.

Register the death

The death must be registered in the country that it happened and as the procedures vary. The authorities mentioned above will be able to assist you. You can ask the local Embassy to record the death and they will in return notify the National Records Office of Scotland who will document the death.

Other documents needed to register a death abroad include; a photocopy of the photo page of the deceased’s passport or their full original birth certificate and written permission from the person’s next of kin.

There are some countries where you cannot register the death with British authorities. Some of these include;

• The Ascension Islands
• Australia
• Bermuda
• Canada
• Cayman Islands
• Gibraltar
• Irish Republic

Repatriation

Repatriation is the process of returning the deceased’s body home. This can seem like a complicated process that can take some time to arrange. To return a body home to Scotland you have to contact a local undertaker in the country that the death occurred, who will assist you to register the death with the relevant authority of that country. They will also liaise with an undertaker in Scotland to arrange the return of the body home.

To bring the deceased home you must have a waiver from the local British Embassy, High Commission or Consulate. You will also need a copy of the death certificate translated into English. When back in Scotland you need to, supply those papers and an application to cremate or bury from your local council, to Healthcare Improvement Scotland who will then determine if the funeral can take place or if a Post Mortem is required first.

The cost of bringing a body back to Scotland depends on the country the death occurred, the repatriation company or the Travel Insurance Provider. Many factors are taken into account as well as body weight meaning the cost could run into thousands of pounds.

To lower this cost, many people chose to cremate their loved one in the country they died and return the ashes back home. You do not need a permit to bring cremated remains back to Scotland, however it is best to advise the airline you are using, that this is your intention as they may have a cost attached to it and they will also want a copy of the cremation certificate. The ashes can be carried in your hand luggage or put in the hold of the plane, the airline company will advise you of their policy.

Make a claim on your travel insurance

If you or your deceased loved one purchased travel insurance, then you could claim back some money. However, when purchasing travel insurance, it’s always important to read the small print. A lot of insurance companies are infamous for unclear wording and policies with lots of exclusions.

It’s advised that you contact the insurance company as soon as possible. They can organise a local firm to hire a funeral director for you.

The post Important steps to follow in case a loved one dies abroad appeared first on ADAMS & DUNCAN Funeral Directors.

Here are 6 thoughtful ways you can mark the anniversary of a loved one’s death

Visit their resting place

One of the most common ways to mark the anniversary of a loved one’s passing away is to visit their final resting place. People often visit their loved one’s graveside and decorate it with flowers. A death anniversary might also be the only time some people visit their loved one’s grave, so they use the time to clean up the gravestone and tidy the graveside. You can take as long as you need when visiting your loved ones final resting place.

Visit their special place

If a loved one has had their ashes scattered instead of a burial, another popular way to commemorate the day is to visit where the ashes are scattered. Most of the time, the place where ashes have been scattered was a special place to the deceased. Visiting their special place with family and friends is not only comforting, but it can also be a joyful day out as it allows you to reminisce together.

Hold a memorial service

Many churches will allow you to dedicate a service to a loved one who has passed away. A memorial service is another great and thoughtful way to bring family and friends together to remember your loved one. Memorial services can be a particularly special way to mark an anniversary, especially if the deceased’s faith was an important part of their life. Services are an opportunity to say prayers and readings in memory of the deceased.

Light a candle

Marking the death of a loved one can be as simple as lighting a candle. Lighting a candle signifies that the memory of a loved one still lives on and burns bright. In different traditions and religions, lighting a candle is viewed as a sacred ritual. Moreover, it can be a peaceful and comforting method.

Take a break

Many people choose to take some time off work when the anniversary of the death of a loved one is approaching. This may not be to grieve as such, but instead to have no other distractions when remembering their loved one. Others may go on a trip to a special place of theirs and their loved one, or go on a break with family.

Write a poem

Writing a poem is a creative way to transfer emotions into an activity and commemorate a death anniversary. Writing can be a healing and calming way to deal with difficult thoughts and feelings. It allows you to express deep feelings. Poems can be kept private or you can share them with friends and family, or even leave it by your loved one’s graveside.

The post 6 thoughtful ways to mark a loved one’s death anniversary appeared first on ADAMS & DUNCAN Funeral Directors.

In today’s multicultural society, we all know someone that is a different religion to ourselves but would you know what was expected from you during the family’s mourning period?

Christianity

In some instances the family may request that their loved one be brought back to the family home but more often than not the deceased will remain at the Funeral Parlour with set hours for viewing. People may attend the viewing to express their condolences to the family and are welcome to stay for the full viewing time, although it is not expected.

The funeral service may be a private affair for family and close friends although most are a public affair, best to check with the family first. After the service, it is traditional to hold a gathering for attendees to share stories and memories of your loved one as well as providing hospitality to anyone who has travelled to attend the funeral. It is also seen as a way of helping the family deal with their grief.

Sending a note or sympathy card to the family, especially if you can’t attend the viewing or funeral service; sending a mass card (can be obtained from a Catholic church); sending flowers to the family home or Funeral Directors or making a donation to a nominated charity in your loved ones name are all acceptable forms of showing sympathy and condolence to the bereaved family.

Jewish

As a mark of respect, Jewish tradition believes in burying the body as a soon as possible after the death. After the funeral service a seven day mourning period begins, this is called sitting Shiva and is held at the home of the mourners. The first meal to be served is called the Seudat Havrach and is traditionally prepared by friends and neighbours of the bereaved family. The foods will include eggs and other round foods as a symbol of life, hope and the full circle of life to death.

During the time of Shiva, those closest to the family, will organise and prepare meals for the mourners while friends will bring fruit, cakes, cookies and other foods. This is to eliminate the need for the mourners to think about preparing food and concentrate on their grief. Friends and community members bring prayers, support and condolences, all normal activities are put on hold during the seven days for the mourners so they are prepared to re-enter normal life at the end of the Shiva.

You do not need an invite to visit during Shiva, all visitors offering condolences are welcome, however please do not send flowers as it is not a Jewish custom. Tradition encourages mourning and discourages any effort to “cheer-up” mourners. The sending of flowers are discouraged, however making a donation to a nominated charity in the deceased person’s name, is acceptable.

Islam

In Islamic tradition, those of the faith are encouraged to accompany the deceased to their final resting place. It is their duty to offer support, comfort and condolences to the bereaved family, being careful to select words that will help the family accept Allah’s will. Comments should be short and tasteful and in no way cause offence. Excessive wailing and crying are not acceptable.

The mourning period for a widow mourning the loss of her husband is 4 months and 10 days, otherwise, it is three days. It is recommended that visitors leave after offering the family condolences and assistance. Some families may hold gatherings offering food and drink to visitors during the 3 day period.

As with Jewish custom, friends and family will bring food to the family to eliminate the worry of those details. It is best to check with the family or their Imam before sending flowers as opinion varies on the appropriateness of them.

Hindu

Hindu’s try to hold the funeral service before sunset on the day of death, however, this may not always be possible but will take place as soon as practical.  The funeral will be organised by the Chief Mourner, who is usually the eldest son or oldest surviving male relative of the person who has died.  The family, wearing white, will gather by the body as soon possible after the death to pray and perform certain rituals.  The family Priest will assist in the rituals.

The body will be decorated with Sandalwood, Garlands and flowers, various rituals will take place round the body with a lamp placed at the head of the deceased. Prayers are offered and water sprinkled on the body with care taken to not touch the body. The family then carry the body to the crematorium.  Outside of India, there is an adaptation of this whereby the deceased will be transported, in a coffin, to the crematorium stopping at places of significance to the deceased and saying prayers.

The Funeral Service is conducted by the Family Priest and assisted by the Chief Mourner, who is responsible for lighting the cremation pyre and saying prayers for the deceased’s soul.

After the cremation the family will return home, bathe, clean the house and the Priest will purify the home with incense and spices.  The family may have a meal and offer prays, mourners are expected to wash and change completely before entering the house.  The family of the deceased will grieve for a thirteen day period after the funeral. They will perform rites intended to provide the soul of the deceased person with a new spiritual body for the next life.

During this period, relatives and friends are expected to visit the family to offer their condolences and support.

It is traditional to bring gifts of food, preferably fruit to the family. You can bring or send flowers to the family, although not a tradition, without causing offense. If you are attending the funeral service and are not immediate family you are expected to wear conservative clothing in subdued colours.

Buddhist

There is a general format to a Buddhist Funeral but no exact answer to what to expect during one as each one is unique and varied. As with any religious ceremony it is respectful to remain quiet and to perform any tasks that are asked of you.

Both Cremation and Burials are acceptable for a Buddhist Funeral.  If the body is being buried you can expect an open coffin and are expected to pay your respects by bowing your head slightly as you approach the coffin.  In the week following the death, several memorial services may take place either at the Funeral Home or at the Buddhist Temple. The services are performed by a Monk, Minister or Priest who will read from the Sutras and maybe lead the mourners in a group meditation. You may be asked to sit on a cushion on the floor so make sure you wear lose, dark, subdued clothing. There may be a reception, upto a week later, after the funeral. This is less formal than the funeral service and more spiritual and meditative.

A sympathy card, funeral flowers or a donation to a charity in the deceased name are appropriate however, avoid phoning, visiting or delivering food the grieving family unless invited to do so.

As with any funeral, plans can range from a low key private affair to an elaborate event but the one thing that they all have in common, no matter the religion or size, is for loved ones to gather together and remember the person they have lost.  To talk, laugh and honour the deceased and show support to the bereaved family.

The post Funeral Etiquette Amongst Different Religions appeared first on ADAMS & DUNCAN Funeral Directors.